Do these numbers mean anything to you?
I realised that they mean a whole lot to me, especially as I have gone deeper and deeper in to running my own business.
It seems that more and more women are craving freedom from the grind. From being away from their families and out of touch with their true needs. More of us may be out of the family home than at any other time in history but we are coming home to ourselves in new and transcendent ways.
We are more likely than ever to have several career changes, especially after having children but there is a bigger reason too.
We are at the deepest unconscious levels sensing the sea-change in our world and for that we need a whole different kind of armour. One that gives us the tools we need to thrive in our time.
Everything appears to be crumbling beneath us and that’s only what I get from the news that finds me via other people now… if you still follow mainstream media i’m sure you could share a decidely more bleak world with me.
I stopped reading news papers and listening to news on the hour. Over 5 years ago we unplugged our tv and went retro with Friends dvds. But i did not tune out or switch off my soul. I did not turn away from myself and this is at the heart of what women are coming home to. We are turning inwards in search of what we truly need. Reality demands it of us now.
We can no longer look to the world to satiate our hunger. We know that kind of fulfilment isn’t any of the places we have been so far.
I needed to go deeply into my experience of living in this world, to disengage from the fear that was following me around. I needed to look at myself without the backdrop of a world in apparent crisis. I needed to explore what would become of my life if I did nothing… about me…about my unrest, my worry, my terror for our collective futures, for our children. And for that and for them I needed to find a way back to innocence. I needed to find clarity and discernment. I needed to find a way IN that made change feel possible.
You see I realised I hadn’t ever really changed that much at all in my life and I realised too that if I wasn’t capable of finding a way to transmute the contents of my own life into the purpose for my existence then I was effectively useless and running on empty. The burnout and total disillusion was proof.
My sadness was like an open wound. Yes I was resilient enough to have come through many things in my life but I was still stuck in my limitations.
I needed to feel something deeply compelling, something that calmed the swelling tides from within, something that transcended those mind cluttering aftershocks from a life lived well under the circumstances.
I got to the core of my need. My need was for something to believe in.
And no matter how I cut it, it always came back to me.
If I could just believe it was possible for me to live from a state of unruffled serenity, then I could believe it was possible for the world.
So I started with me and bit by bit, with daily devotion and commitment to the greatest cause in my life…ME, I am more and more able to reach out and touch something of the world that feels solid and safe, and in truth and beauty it responds to me in that way more often than it does not.
Once our saftey needs are met we are capable of so much more. And I knew that my work was with myself before I would be a light for the world.
Healing is the homecoming I have had to sit with and cry tears of anguish and ecstacy over more times than I can recount. But my commitment to heal my own life gives a sense of security that the world of things cannot.
I have experienced more emotional pain and attempts from the outside to unravel my happiness since commencing that healing than I have in my entire life, and yet my strength is unwavering, my trust in what I must do is unequivocal. I have returned to healing over and over again. I have returned to holding steadfastly to creating the conditions within me that allow change to feel possible in me and around me.
Where I can believe in change, I am free.
And believe me, a sense of freedom is not something that has come easily to me. I have stood by her gates and defended her honour and it has cost me some of the people I love the most. But it has not cost me my freedom or my ability to believe in change.
I have given myself the gift of freedom by devoting my life to what is possible in me. And if it’s possible for me, I have the hope that it is possible for you to.
So where does 997 come in to all of this?
Well… as some of you may know my business has grown from the ashes of a total breakdown within my family of birth. It has been a devastating year on many counts but in the midst of so much pain and loss I was shocked to suddenly feel so alive, so free, so ready to finally live – full-blooded, fully embodied, fulfilling every ounce of my otential, engaging with my true purpose.
Until that sense of release I was totally unaware of the vice like grip it had had on everything down to the air in my lungs. My voice and my truth caused the toxic and destructive forces i’d be living under to simply vanish. They chose to up and leave. I had no idea that all i’d need to do was finally speak my truth. I realised just how powerful my voice was. I didn’t have to do anything more than share my truth to be cut loose. My voice was labelled all kinds of things but there are no lables that can be applied to any woman who steps up and calls out NO MORE.
She rose above the ashes and suddenly free was able to be here with you. I was able to start allowing myself to be the woman that I was born into.
And that is it. I was born into the potential to be the woman I am now fully becoming. Every day there is the potential for me to go ALL IN and that is what I choose.
My life and my work are no longer seperate. At least not until i hit the inevitable crisis’ of confidence that come with trying to make it in the world.
For that I need more devotion, indwelling and drawing back than ever before. I need more discernment and more patience. I need to strengthen the waterproof coating of my daily meditation that will allow me to let the unthinking cruelties of those who mean me harm to roll off me. To make forgiveness my truth. For myself and for others. Especially the others who will not forgive me.
And crucially as a women in business I need to safeguard myself from those who attempt to exploit my human need for freedom and cash-in on my momentary lapses of fear and doubt. To those whose webinars I’ve in some desperate and crazy urge signed up to praying that they won’t be like all the rest.
You know the ones that ask you what it would be worth if you could make all your business roadblocks go away. Then they list their dazzling array of solution based products with costs plucked from thin air. Then hit you with the grand and ludicrous total of $14,997 worth of information “stuff” to make your woes go away. And then insult your hard won grit to ask some variation of the question… “what is freedom from *insert your dilema here* worth to you”?
Knowing how maddened and up against it you are they deliver the cherry on top…would “$997” be worth it? Setting themselves up as the good guys just helpin’ you out…
And I say NO MORE. No more to the gimmicks and quick fixes on every. single. level. In business and in the life.
I have, with the power of my own truth, somehow dissolved the most tormenting aspect of my entire existence and here it is again asking me to go another round in the seedy online world of digital marketers and the scarily predictable amount of $997 to make all of my inadequaces go away.
I know it is appealing to believe that the solutions to our challenges lie outside of ourselves but it’s simply not true.
Today I sat through a 90 minute webinar. I was almost too ashamed to admit that before I caught myself! But it has given me so much insight about my process and how to preserve in moments of struggle. And as it turns out after 10 solid days of two sick children, one who must be held until 2am before she surrenders to sleep and the other who coughs all night long beside me in bed denying me any chance of a decent sleep, THAT leaves me wide open to solution searching.
Being a women in a small, solitary, soulful business that needs all of me to exist, in a family that needs all of me to exist, in a body that needs all of me to exist pretty much insists that I need to exist in a world free from solutions that come from anywhere else but from deep within.
In business that means the $997 brigade. On the days when I cannot see how I will get from where I am to where I want to be, my loss of connection to myself leaves me wide open to needing the fix.
And so to my business. A business I run on soul and simplicity and with fierce devotion to the way of all women. I want to say it here, I want to reach you, I want to make a difference with the work that I do but I vow to never ever sell you solutions that you already possess. Instead I want to invite you into my world, my process, my truth.
I want to be deeply committed to the work of change from within. I want to share the ways that I make that real for me and more than anything else I want to live and breathe everything we do together. I want to know what it takes and take what it knows out into the world.
I don’t know the way forward, I don’t know where we will end up together but I do know that I will go on record as saying I will never ask you what your problems are worth paying for and I will never suggest $997 could change your life or your business. I will always insist however that you make change possible for yourself by going in, ALL IN.
I will live my truth and I will invite you to live yours through deep devotion to yourself and your precious life. I will I hope, give you something to believe in…
I declare 2017 a year of Potency in all that I do. You are Potent and Potential-filled and that my dear women is where I shall meet you! I love that my work will only ever ask you to go deeper in ~
You heard it here first Going In Is The New Going Out!
Merry Christmas and an ALL IN New Year
In Wild Wishes, Clare xxx